Come On, Baby, Light My Fire. Or Any Fire For That Matter.
October 15th, 2009
The first sign of pyromania is a feigned inability to blow out the birthday candles on one’s fourth birthday.
[TEDDY LIGHTLY BREATHES ON BIRTHDAY CANDLES]
TEDDY: Are these trick candles?
[TEDDY TRIES TO PUT THEM OUT WITH A NEARBY AEROSOL CAN OF HAIRSPRAY, SETTING GRANDMA MABEL’S CHIFFON ON FIRE]
STEP MOM: I told you he’s Satan’s son!
TEDDY: You’re not my mom!
GRANDMA MABEL: Is something wrong? Why’s my hair so danged hot?
Warning Sign #1